When coming to college one would think that being gay and dating would get easier but unfortunately it does not. There are definitely more members of the community in college but it is almost impossible to tell whether or not someone is gay just by looking at them. That being said the LGBT+ community is forced to look to social media even more so in college then one would in a high school setting. According to advocate.com the statistics found that “70 percent of gay men and 47 percent of lesbians have dated someone they met online”.
Being gay and not one to look to online dating, I tried just finding other members of the community the old-fashioned way. Unfortunately that never worked out for me so I ended up downloading online dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and HER. Through this method meeting other queer girls became easier but you lose that moment of when you meet someone for the first time in person. It’s a little less meaningful since you’ve been talking to this person over social media. Even a website known as mashable.com has stated that “Here are the best gay dating apps since meeting people IRL is hell” as their headline. Tinder and HER are at the top of their best queer dating apps for college students list as well.
Social media has certainly made gay dating a lot easier then it would have been in the past. It is so much easier to find someone and to connect with someone over social media. But you are losing that specific connection when you meet someone in person. Suddenly everything becomes about talking over text and things can sometimes become toxic this way. This happens more times than not with gay couples specifically in my experience.
When it comes to the positive aspect of gay dating in college over social media; some good things would be that you meet new people. Not even in the sense that you meet them to date or hook up with them but you can make friends over Tinder and the other online dating apps too. In my own experience I’ve made plenty of friends on Tinder when we both realized that we were definitely meant to be nothing more than friends. Some of these people you wouldn’t even necessarily run into on campus. According to umd.readsh101.com found by Maryland University, it is easier for introverted people to meet other people in a less intimidating way as well.
On the other hand when it comes to the negative aspect of gay dating in college over social media, there are aspects like not having that same connection you would if you were meeting them in real life for the first time. Found by Maryland University on umd.readsh101.com, most of the time many college students including LGBT+ college students will just use these social media dating apps to just hook-up. It can be harder finding a real relationship when meeting someone over these dating apps. Nobody is really ever clear on what they are looking for over these dating apps. Not to mention the fact that the creation of these dating apps doesn’t push people to go out of their comfort zones and meet anyone in real life. In my experience, many people will just judge you based on your physical appearance with these dating apps and therefore will never get to know the real you.
This doesn’t just go for gay dating, this also applies to heterosexual dating as well on these dating apps. Overall examining it, the cons seem to outweigh the pros in that using these dating apps are not always the best option in order to meet someone. Unfortunately however, these dating apps are basically the only way that queer men and women especially college can meet someone.